Restaurant Etiquette #2

Just FYI to some people that are oblivious to their surroundings.

If notice me carrying 5 plates to your table, MOVE your fucking drink, silverware, cell phone, etc, out of the damn way. I can't count how many times I struggle carrying plates in one hand and sweeping away your shit to make room for the plates with the other hand, while you're texting or on the phone.

Restaurant Etiquette #1

Remember that TIPPING your server extremely important people! Especially if you're ever decide to come back to that restaurant. I'll always remember a shitty customer over the good ones. Trust me, I'll make sure to give you a little extra "sauce" next time you order.

P.S. Don't tip in change! That's just fucking rude, I'm not a homeless person. If you can't afford tip, then motherfucker you shouldn't be eating out in the first place! Eat at home and call it a day.

Picky eaters

I get this usual customer that comes in, probably one of the pickiest eaters I've met so far. Usually orders a chicken and vegetables plate but only eats WHITE vegetables..what an odd motherfucker. As if any other color would kill you. Probably a racist prick.

Last Friday I came in a bit later than usual, not even 30 seconds into the door that prick has the audacity to say..

him: "hey! you should of came in earlier to take my order, these other servers don't know what I like".
(me thinking): bitch, if you ordered like a normal person this wouldn't even be an issue.
me: "dude I own this place, I come in whenever I want".

To-Go Box

This old fuck and his care taker comes in. That old fuck wanted his kang-pao chicken, egg roll, and rice to be on all separate plates. Saying he can't eat food unless it's like that, sounds like a personal problem bitch. At the end of the meal, he wants me to box his food for him. Where do you think you are..P.F. Chang's or some shit? Went ahead and did it anyways.

him: "Did you box everything together?"
me: "Yes sir"
him: "I don't want it anymore, just take it away! I wanted everything boxed separately."
(me thinking): "Are you fucking serious? Should of told me from the beginning!"

He comes up to the cashier to pays and says..

old fart "I know you messed up, but I'll be the bigger man and still tip you"

The old fuck left me a $1..big spender. I'll be looking out for you old man, hopefully you like your spit separately also.

Purpose

The whole point of my blog is going to be about the dumb customers that I encounter on a daily basis. Hopefully no one gets offended, if so don't read it.

Cleavage

A table of three big bitches came in today. I noticed one of them would cover up her cleavage whenever I'm around. I can't believe this cunt had the audacity to think I'd look at those flap jacks she calls tits, you couldn't pay enough to take a look. Just let me do my job and we can part ways. Oh yeah, don't forget to leave a tip.