Restaurant Etiquette #2

Just FYI to some people that are oblivious to their surroundings.

If notice me carrying 5 plates to your table, MOVE your fucking drink, silverware, cell phone, etc, out of the damn way. I can't count how many times I struggle carrying plates in one hand and sweeping away your shit to make room for the plates with the other hand, while you're texting or on the phone.

Restaurant Etiquette #1

Remember that TIPPING your server extremely important people! Especially if you're ever decide to come back to that restaurant. I'll always remember a shitty customer over the good ones. Trust me, I'll make sure to give you a little extra "sauce" next time you order.

P.S. Don't tip in change! That's just fucking rude, I'm not a homeless person. If you can't afford tip, then motherfucker you shouldn't be eating out in the first place! Eat at home and call it a day.

Picky eaters

I get this usual customer that comes in, probably one of the pickiest eaters I've met so far. Usually orders a chicken and vegetables plate but only eats WHITE vegetables..what an odd motherfucker. As if any other color would kill you. Probably a racist prick.

Last Friday I came in a bit later than usual, not even 30 seconds into the door that prick has the audacity to say..

him: "hey! you should of came in earlier to take my order, these other servers don't know what I like".
(me thinking): bitch, if you ordered like a normal person this wouldn't even be an issue.
me: "dude I own this place, I come in whenever I want".